


She Use to Love Me a Lot

by notthehellyourwhale



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Depression, F/M, Introspection, Language, Paraiso, Therapy, self reflection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21569101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthehellyourwhale/pseuds/notthehellyourwhale
Summary: What happened in between the pages on Paraiso? What happens when a couple with that much history is forced to go to therapy to keep cover on a mission? More than you might think. This is a collection of drabbles based on what I think might have happened in between Romy’s therapy and ass kicking sessions inRogue and Gambit.
Relationships: Remy LeBeau/Rogue
Kudos: 14





	She Use to Love Me a Lot

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I’ve written in a LONG time, and my first ROMY fic ever despite having shipped them before I knew what shipping was. This was inspired by me going to actual real life therapy lol, I thought about whether Rogue and Gambit, specifically Gambit, were given time to work through individual issues as well as the couples therapy. Its short right now, but I hope this will be a few chapters long, with at least one chapter focused on Rogue. My Gambit/X men tumblr is kingofthieves if you wanna drop by :)
> 
> The title is from the Johnny Cash song of the same name.

Remy was uncomfortable, no scratch that, he was nervous. Really, truly nervous. It had been a long time since he’d felt anything more than mild apprehension, but here he was. His leg bounced and his shoulders were tense. He cursed himself for leaving his cards back in the room, his hands itched for something, anything to fidget with. He leaned his head against the wall and blew out a sigh, willing his leg to still. Years of thief training kicked in as he clamped down on his nerves. It was ridiculous, he thought, he was the greatest thief in the world, not to mention an x-man. He’d stolen items worth millions without batting an eye, and saved the world more than once. But this, this set him on edge.

“Mr. Lebeau?”

A smartly dressed woman had poked her head into the waiting room, it bothered Remy that he hadn’t heard her coming, being so wrapped up in his nerves.

“ _Oui_.” He answered curtly, Instinct kicking in as he assessed the woman. She had a small bird like frame, with spectacles perched so far down on her nose it was a wonder they didn’t fall off. He felt himself relax ever so slightly at the fact that she looked untrained in hand to hand combat, there was a good chance this was one of the actual therapists working on the island.

That’s what he was here for after all, therapy. Specifically couples therapy, with Rogue. What he didn’t realize when he signed up for the mission was part of the treatment involved individual therapy. Something he was now dreading. His and Rogues session earlier that afternoon had been explosive and uncomfortable, sure, but at least they’d had each other. As strained as their relationship was at times, they were still friends, and teammates. When it came down to it they had each other’s back for this mission. So as Remy made his way down the hallway after the woman who’d called his name, alone, he couldn’t help but feel trapped, isolated, on his own against what anyone else would see as a totally non threatening person.

It wasn’t just that he was afraid of physical violence, but the concept of baring his soul to someone he barely knew did not sit right with the thief. In fact, it went against every fibre of his being to sit down in the big overly plush chair across from this woman, and not bolt for the doors. He’d already located at least three exit points almost without realizing it. He was so caught up in his own mind that he didn’t even realize the bird like woman was talking to him until she said his name again.

“Mr. Lebeau?” She asked. He hummed a non committal response, eyes still casing the small room, and so she asked again.

“I was just asking how your first day has been, have you had a chance to see your room yet?” Her voice was sweet, and lower than Remy had expected given her small stature, almost as if she was trying to be intentionally nonthreatening. Remy didn’t buy it.

“Rooms fine.” Was all he said.

“You seem tense.”

He wanted to roll his eyes, but stifled the urge with extreme effort. Instead, he steeled himself for what was sure to be an uncomfortable hour.

**Later...**

_Pop! Pop! Pop!_

Pebbles bounced off the rocks in front of Remy, exploding with the small charge he’d imbued them with. In one hand he held a pile of more pebbles to throw, in the other a sheet of paper he’d gotten after his session this morning. He huffed in annoyance, the last thing he’d expected from this mission was god damn homework. He was already feeling uneasy from this mornings sessions, the last thing he wanted to do was spend his downtime doing even more self reflection. Granted, he didn’t really know what he had expected from this mission. He’d jumped at the chance to spend some time with Rogue, and as usual when it came to her he didn’t stop for a moment to think about the consequences. He’d heard Kitty say “Rogue” and “couples retreat” and he’d been sold. Even if Rogue had zero interest in the couples part of this mission, he was still excited to spend time with her. He had meant what he said when he told her she was still his best friend, and he missed his best friend, especially with all the Avenging she’d been doing lately. They hadn’t been able to just sit and talk in months, it was wearing on him.

Which was why he was kicking the shit out of himself for sitting in this secluded alcove, avoiding her. But this morning had been a lot, and they’d been given free time this afternoon. The last thing he needed after all the shit that’d been aired in their sessions, both individual and not, was to have to pretend to be unaffected by it. And he didn’t want Rogue to see how much it had shaken him, at least not yet anyways. 

And it had shaken him, more than he’d realized. Talking so openly about such sensitive topics to people he had no real reason to trust had worn on him more than he wanted to admit. By the end of it he’d been so keyed up he was having trouble keeping his empathy under control, which meant he could pick up on the shit storm of emotions going through Rogues head too. The psyches were not thrilled by the therapy either, it seemed, and so Rogue had been even more touchy than when they’d first landed. So now he was here, hiding from her and trying to get a handle on his emotions. The therapists had recommended they use their free time to reflect on the days sessions, and work on the exercises they’d been given, but he doubted they would approve of him slinking off to hide in some rocky alcove and sulk.

He glanced down at the sheet of paper in his hand, reminded of it by his thoughts. It was a simple exercise, or at least that’s what the therapist had said. Something about countering negative self thoughts. He didn’t quite understand how these lists and questions were going to undo years of sin, but he’d accepted the task nonetheless. The idea was that if he did this exercise enough, he wouldn’t need the paper, and he could stop his spirals of self hatred before they began. He scoffed at that, throwing another handful of pebbles at the rocks in front of him, flinching as he realized he’d charged them a bit too much, and cracked one of the boulders in half. As far as he was concerned, all of his self hatred was well earned, and to try and counter that, to even consider forgiving himself, it just wasn’t moral. He held the sheet in both hands now, staring at it so intensely it was a wonder it didn’t combust. He had half a mind to tear the thing into pieces and toss it in the ocean. Instead he crumpled it in a fist and tossed it over his shoulder. He knew it was useless, the therapist would likely just give him a new one, and if he wanted to keep his cover on this mission he’d have to at least look like he was attempting to listen.

He stared out at the water. The sun was beginning to set, sending light pinks and yellows dancing across the still water. He sucked in breath at the view, and couldn’t help but think of Rogue at the sight of such beauty. Rogue, his heart ached at her name. They had fought this morning, during their first session, and he had been so cruel. He hadn’t meant to, but they had so much pain, so much history between them, and she was so damn stubborn. They were like a bomb waiting to go off on normal days, but combine that with the pressure of a new mission, and deliberately poking at their emotional wounds, and they’d been set off in the most explosive manner he could remember. And it hurt, having her cuss him out like that, so he reacted the only way he knew how, by lashing out in turn. Of course by the end of it both of them had just been more frustrated than before, and he wondered if these therapists had any idea what they were doing. After though, during a small break before their individual sessions, there’d been an odd sense of calm that had washed over him. He would have blamed it on his own adrenaline petering out if he hadn’t also picked up on Rogues passive demeanour. It had been hard to remember exactly what they’d argued about, what insults they’d hurled at each other, but he knew it had been cruel. 

Of course that strange calm had instantly worn off the moment Rogue had been called away for her individual session, and Remy was stuck wringing his hands and waiting anxiously for his own. He thought the individual sessions made no damn sense, after all the whole point of this island was a couples retreat, why separate the couple? He’d said as much to the therapist, who had spouted off some bullshit about self improvement often being the key to improving relationships.

He paused in his thoughts, picking up another handful of pebbles he threw them one at time, this time letting them explode before they touched the ground. Self improvement, he mulled over the words and started to come to an unsettling realization. How many times had his relationship with Rogue gone south because he’d gotten it in his head that she’d deserved better? Nearly as much as she’d pushed him away. He threw the final rock in his hand, watching it detonate with a faint _pop!_ Maybe these quack doctors had some merit after all. He definitely didn’t deserve forgiveness for his past, but Rogue deserved a lover, or at least right now a friend, who wouldn’t run away from her due to his own issues. Maybe this wasn’t exactly what Remy’s therapist had had in mind, but it was a damn good start. Huffing out a breath, he let his tense shoulders relax for what felt like the first time that day, and looked over his shoulder. He spotted the crumpled up paper he tossed behind him earlier, caught in between two jutting rocks. Standing up, Remy took a moment to be thankful he hadn’t charged the damn thing. He grabbed the paper, smoothed in out as best he could, and took a pencil out of his pocket. He walked back up the shore to where he’d spotted a picnic table on his way own, and began filling out the little sheet. Making lists and answering questions, building himself a plan for when his thoughts started to spiral down that all too familiar path. 

The sun had moved further down on the horizon, the pastel colours from earlier melting into brilliant purples and oranges, and this time Remy let himself smile when he thought of Rogue.


End file.
